No meaning

All the everyday stuff that fills our lives, neither adding particular meaning or taking it away.

I saw this sentence in an article from New Yorker, a cancer doctor whose wife died of cancer.

It is real, I find my life's meaning has been taken away by the everyday stuff, which has been pushing me, to live. I'm dragged by the stuffs to move on, I'd rather run away from my life. But I don't know how.

Thinking of giving up the good life is cruel, not only for the ones who love me, but also to those who struggle to live and still want to live. Life sometimes is a luxury for someone, but no color to others. They say that Camus has said, that some people are born to live, and some people are born to love. For those who are born to love, if they lose the ability to love, they don't know how to live.

Don't wanna sleep, because I don't know what to expect tomorrow.
Don't wanna come home, because I lost my transport pass.
Don't wanna go to work, because I'm no use for anyone.
Don't wanna stay in France, because I don't belong here.
Don't wanna go back to China, because I don't belong there either.
Don't wanna be dependent on anyone, because in the end I'm always burnt.
Don't wanna leave, because I know that hurts too...