Some thinking about Church

I don't know whether all the church is like our church : full of problems, brothers and sisters not united, lacking of love and tolerance... All I know is that this mustn't be the church that belongs to Christ should be.

As we are all sinful people, of course we make mistakes now and then. But what is terrible is the feelings of loneliness, when you find that even in the church, you couldn't find the warmth you need. Sometimes it is just a trust from your familiar brothers and sisters. They told you that they understood, but from their eyes, you can see the blame not hidden well, which exposes the doubt. The leaders of church who shows a lot of help or a lot of energy always catch the eyeballs of the community. One day, when they think about the church, they will remind themselves of the leaders, not the one who had made effort to found the church, who may be just an ordinary believer. If the leaders are humble, how lucky the community is. But if not, and even when they don't take others' advice. What a terrible image.

There are always the people who are likely to follow this kind of leaders, who have the charm of leadership, always with the persuasive tongues, the passion, event if they lack the real and deep love for others. But it doesn't matter. And I desperately find out that not so many people think that it's a terrible thing. Or maybe they prefer to think that I am the weird, who always wants to judge.

Finally,  everyone will abandon you as you don't have the same target, the same learning example, and the same vision, and follow the leaders. Leaving me thinking, which one is right, to speak out or keep silence. Speaking out will make more and more people defend the leader, even what he has done is not right according to the Bible. It is not judging, it is just to point out the problem of the church.

It is normal, that perhaps no one understands you. What is pity is that everyone is tending to looking for others' affirmation. Even I tried not to, but what I'm doing now is to look for some confirmation. But, since nobody relevant will read this, and Lord, I know you know me, and you know us all, may you bless our church before you come.