J'aimerais bien pratiquer mon français en écrivant quelques choses. C'est une façon de cacher des sentiments aussi. En utilisant des langues différentes peut éviter des gens qui manque de la patience. Comme j'ai beaucoup de secrets de différentes domaines, je pourrais mélanger les langues et les secrets!
Avec beaucoup d'aide des collègues, mon français avance petit à petit. Mais c'est toujours difficile à m'exprimer sans faisant faute.
J'ai toujours cette question, et je ne me cache jamais. Je ne sais pas c'est plutôt que j'ai oublié le sentiment d'être amoureuse ou j'ai jamais connu ce genre de sentiment. J'ai toujours des amis garçons avec lesquels je m'entend très bien, mais pas comme copain et copine. Plutôt comme frère et soeur. Mais récemment je viens de savoir que dans des yeux des autres (surtout mes deux amies les plus proches), j'ai eu des sentiments avec tout ce que j'ai appelé "frère".
In fact from this paragraph, I'll write in English, just to hide from the french speaking and chinese speaking person who may dig from what I write (though I think no one will give a s**t about what I write, just for the happiness of my future marriage and for my poor memory, I'll continue).
I have a big problem since I worked among the guys full of gentilemen. I have to admit that it's difficult to not have good feelings with the men who are really kind of me, specially when he does something for you but not showing it. Being kind to a little girl seems a part of their caracters.
Fortunately SA is from another world, we don't have much in common. For me, he is just like another fish from another area of sea. We meet in the crossline of two seas, but we'll never cross the line to another world. This time, I was sad just because I know that we belong to different world, we'll never be close enough even to be ordinary friends. I was in a long period of down tide.
It was then M saved me.
We got familiar very quickly which both of us didn't expect. We have something in common, I can't tell. But when you're together with him, you know you can count on him. I begain to forget about all the sadness of SA. I didn't realise that there was another danger. M is so gentile with me, so kind. I thought that this must be friendship. But there're always people keep telling me there exists no friendship between a man and a woman. Since I noticed that I would like to be with him when he's sad, and I would text him every day out of work to know his news, and I would like to have lunch with him, thein I found it was not good.
Am I in love with him or is this just friendship? How could I tell the difference? What is "true love"? What about my bf, the friendship or love? I told my friends, they said I must be crazy. How could I be with a guy for more than 5 years but don't know what love is.
It IS sad. And then I think I must figure out the difference, or else I'm so irresponsible if I get married and one day find out that I'm not in love.
I'm not sure whether this is because I'm afraid of the marriage then I suddenly have so many problems or vice versa. Then bf told me that he is not so hurried to get married, which made me more anxious. If not for having a baby before 30, I would prefer to stay alone!
And now I tend to give up finding the anwser. Maybe I'll never figure out and I'll lose all if I keep asking this same question. I hope I never grew up/
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