Apart from all the bad luck I've had for several weeks, I've got the bad news one by one, non-stop. A not so close friend's mother has passed away several days ago. This is the 5th passing away news I've heard for the people around me.
I never supposed that the death could be so close. Many years ago, this kind of news seemed always far. Or maybe it was because my uncle has gone forever when I was just 11 years old. I still remember my dad lying on the sofa sheding tears, while looking at me, asked, you are not sad about your uncle. I wasn't really sad. I didn't know what sadness really means. I had no heart.
I went to the funeral for the mother of a sister in church last month. We're not that close, but she serves the church hard and leads our choir to which I join too. I was so sad. Because I gradually understand little by little the unspoken deep sadness for the loss to the family.
Last year, N lost her father; this year, M lost his father, H lost her father, C lost her mother, M lost his grandmother, XH lost her mother. I'm sorry I didn't and couldn't do anything to make you better. I was too young to understand, and am too old to show the deep love. Those who still live are lonely. Those who still live need more courage. I was praying for several months for those who lost their family members, but this just continues to happen.
Yesterday I was lying on the bed suffering from the pain, reading the mail saying that our sister lost her mother. I felt so helpless. We'll see each other one day. But those who are still on the earth have to stand all the emptiness and feel being swallowed by the darkness.
My dearest, may God comforts you, please, have more courage to move on!
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